Disastrous Victories & Magnificent Defeats

I don't know about you, but for me, it's been an exceptionally hard week. Beyond the normal 'stuff', (kids that are either sick or getting into trouble and the contstant stress of having to stretch finances, etc...) this week has introduced me to trials I don't run into very often. I'm learning that during times such as these it becomes increasingly important to "press in" to what I know to be Truth. By 'press in', I mean to work extra hard reminding myself mentally, but also to do the things physically that will enable me to focus on what God has done and spoken. One of these things is to get alone and spend some time with the Master and in His Words.

I once read, and find that I still identify with, the following:

"The road I've traveled... is pockmarked by disastrous victories and magnificent defeats, soul-diminishing successes and life-enhancing failures. Seasons of fidelity and betrayal, periods of consolation and desolation, zeal and apathy are not unknown to me.
And there have been times...
when the felt presence of God was more real to me than the chair I was sitting on;
when the Word ricocheted like broken-backed lightning in every corner of my soul;
when a storm of desire carried me to places I had never visited.

And there have been other times...
when I identified with the words of Mae West: "I used to be Snow White - but I drifted";
when the Word was as stale as old ice cream and as bland as tame sausage;
when the fire in my belly flickered and died;
when I mistook dried-up enthusiasm for gray-haired wisdom;
when I dismissed youthful idealism as mere naivete;
when I preferred cheap slivers of glass to the pearl of great price." *

If you relate to ANY of that, as I know today that I do, then may we both be encouraged by God's Words, which say:

"Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are Mine. You are precious in My eyes, because you are honored and I love you... the mountains may depart, the hills be shaken, but My love for you will never leave you and My covenant of peace with You will never be shaken" (Isaiah 43:1,4; 54:10).

My prayer:
"Father, You have said over and over again that You love me... and You've proved it in the most radical of ways. Today I want to stand firm in Your love for me. I ask for the strength to endure the things You've called me to and set in motion in my life. At the same time, I ask for mercy in the areas that my own mess-ups have brought my way. I love You big-time, and want to thank You that "The love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given us" (Romans 5:5). Help me to walk this week out in an authentic love for others that is birthed in the love you've shown me; A walk of true compassion and forgiveness. You said, "Love your enemies and do good... and you will be sons of the Most High for He Himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked" (Luke 6:35). I pray this sincerely, Amen."



*Brennan Manning from his book, Abba's Child - NavPress 1994 pp 15