Is Ministry On The Horizon?

It has been quite a while since I have given an update. It is the day after Christmas and I actually have a few moments to sit and catch those who might be interested up on our lives.

Kelli is feeling much better. This, of course, was the main reason for our relocating to Colorado. It is truly a blessing to have her up and about, laughing, and able to be involved in our lives like she used to be. She is missing being in ministry very much, and sometimes gets lonely, missing her friends and those from Desperation Church that she was so close to.

Our five children are all healthy and doing well. Conor is on staff at Rev5, and is loving the chance to disciple and mentor other young people in their relationships with Jesus. Kolten is working for a computer company and designing web-sites. He is also engaged to be married, to an incredible young lady, on June 5th. His fiance', Amy, has become a special part of our family. Caleb is 17 in three days and is doing great. He's applying at different jobs and looks to be getting hired on at Papa Murphy's Pizza (I am praying that he is, because I absolutely love their take-and-bake pizza, and feel that the Lord is strongly leading him in this specific direction). Michaela just finished being in the play, "A Christmas Carol". She stole the show and is growing into an awesome woman of God. Merci is also growing and doing really well in school. She has not made many friends, and this is something that we are praying for daily.

We've attended multiple churches, but settled at a Calvary Chapel church, which is located just two houses away from where we live. We love being able to walk to church, and the worship and teaching have been nice. We miss 'community' there, however, and wish for closer relationships with others. We're confident that God will bring that in His time.

I have worked at Schwan's Food Company for about three months, but have recently resigned. I was working 13-15 hour days and, although I was successful in the company's opinion, the hours were requiring me to be apart from the family too much. So, I find myself, once again, in the process of looking for employment.

The Lord has been up to much... in me... during these past four months. I have found that the 'pastor' inside of me is not so easy to suppress. Over and over I find that I land smack dab in a conversation with a customer or co-worker, or someone else I randomly encounter, where I am sharing God's great love and grace. I am often asked if I would ever consider starting something new... where I could share Christ more regularly. What is strange is that these requests are coming mostly from non-believers, and those who have walked away from the Church. This has caused Kelli and I to begin prayerfully considering pioneering something. We are not even sure what it is, or what it could look like.

Having Kelli back... and excited to serve Jesus, in this way, again... has been refreshing and rejuvenating for me. Although there are hundreds of churches in Colorado Springs, we actually live near the city of Manitou Springs, where there are surprisingly few churches, and surprisingly many who are needing Jesus. So Kelli and I are prayerfully considering what the Lord might have for us in the future. Truthfully, we have so many questions: Should this be a 'church'? Should it be a simple Bible-study? Should we podcast (something we receive quite a few requests for)? How can we pay for this? How can we practically minister to the poor, which is our heart, while allowing us to teach verse-by-verse and emphasize community and family? Do we know enough people that have the same heart who would partner with us? Should we start something brand new, or simply join something that is already existing?

As you can see... we are still seeking much direction. One thing I am certain of: I want to glorify Jesus, without it becoming a 'show'. So much of what we've witnessed has become all about the production of weekend services and pleasing people, rather than authentically seeking God's creative, unique will... and guidance. Galations 1:10 is still one of my life's verses: "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Serving Christ with passion and authenticity is something that we've found to be a rare and special thing... when, and if, it is found.

Of course, I still must feed my family and pay the bills... so I'm looking for employment, as I consider all of this. I'd ask all those who know us well... who are still reading all this... and who pray, to please lift our family up to the Master. We desperately want God's perfect will for us. We want Him to be be seen in us. 
We simply want Him to be authentically seen... period.

I'd appreciate your prayers... and your thoughts and comments, if you have them. May God bless you in this coming year, and may Jesus receive the massive glory that He's due, through the way each of us are living our lives.

Michael

HISTORY OF DESPERATION CHURCH

The following is what I read in my final sermon. It is the history of Desperation Church, as I remember it. I was hoping this would be put on the internet so that it would not be forgotten.  "The Lord answered me: Write down this vision; clearly inscribe it on tablets so one may easily read it." (Habakkuk 2:2).

HISTORY OF DESPERATION CHURCH

as of July 2013

At 2:00am one morning in the summer of 1994, a singing evangelist by the name of Gene Leutzinger couldn’t sleep and was up reading his Bible. Hebrews 11:16 jumped off the page, “Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them”. Gene and his wife Debbie would travel and sing to a multitude of churches in a multitude of cities, so the idea of God preparing a specific city for them was odd. Not long after this night, Debbie approached Gene with a question; ‘Have you ever thought of planting a church?” Within a month, another pastor by the name of Dan Slater, phoned Gene and asked if he’d ever considered planting a church. Gene felt that if the Word had spoken to him, his wife had spoken to him, and a fellow brother in the Lord had spoken to him… perhaps God was speaking to him. They traveled to the Kansas City area and began driving through many different suburbs with a realtor. As they drove through the suburb of Liberty, on Mill Street near Franklin Elementary School, Gene felt God speak to his heart, “Plant the church in this town”. Gene leaned forward to the realtor and said, “Don’t show me another house outside of Liberty because this is where we are going to plant the church.”

The Leutzingers purchased a home and began to hold services in their living room. Nobody came to the first Bible study. One lady they had met, who had told them she planned to attend, was honored with a surprise birthday party and ended up not being able to make it. They were a bit discouraged. However, the next week she came and brought some friends and family. Liberty Celebration Center was born.

Within three months around 30 people were filling Gene and Debbie’s living room, so they rented the Spirit of Liberty Building (where Starbucks is currently located). The official grand opening held Palm Sunday in 1995 brought approximately 75 people to the small 700 square foot room they were meeting in. Two months later the church recruited Michael and Kelli Craft to help as youth pastors with the few youth who were attending. Gene had known Michael from a previous youth ministry position in Ottumwa, Iowa back in 1993. The church purchased a small building near William Jewell College, which had been the former Jehovah’s Witness Meeting Hall, to begin meeting in. Michael and Kelli served alongside the Leutzingers for almost two years, until May of 1997, when Gene and Debbie felt a call to minister elsewhere, as worship pastors in Norman, Oklahoma. Michael was asked to be the ‘interim’ pastor and began serving as such on June 2^nd, 1997. This ‘interim’ would eventually last sixteen years.

Michael stated, “I felt unready to be a senior pastor, and I think there were others who felt that way too. A few made dramatic exits and stormed out the very first week. In that first few months I had miraculously grown our church from a consistent 60 persons to a consistent 35 persons.”

The ex-Kingdom Hall the church was meeting in fit the needs fine, but for there to be any numerical growth, there would require a change. The church leadership began to seek God for direction, and ended up selling the building to William Jewell College. Liberty Celebration Center then became the first church in the city of Liberty to meet in a public school building on the weekends. Ridgeview Elementary School’s gymnasium became the church’s home for 2 and a half years. During this season the church began to grow in unity, as never before. Setting up and tearing down every week has a way of bringing people together, and although numerically there were not many being added, the church was becoming a family.

In September of 2001, when the infamous ‘9-11’ took place, the people of Liberty Celebration Center urgently wanted to meet and pray. Everyone was scared and everyone wanted to just be together. However, that was an impossibility. It was the middle of the week, and the church’s meeting place was only rented on the weekends. Trying to fit 100 people into the Craft’s home did not go well. This became the catalyst for the leadership to pray yet again for a place to call home. One day while getting the car washed in an industrial part of Liberty, Pastor Michael saw some old warehouses. One of them had a 4,400 square foot space available to rent. Not everyone loved this idea, but after some casting of vision, and the willingness of the congregation to take a major step of faith, a lease was signed. There was a major ‘catch’ to the lease: The church would have to spend its own money to fix up the warehouse, and when the lease was over they’d have to leave all improvements that had been done. This was a major risk and huge step of faith, because since the church’s beginning it had only been able to save around $40,000 dollars. After a time of prayer and fasting, the body of believers prayerfully decided to ‘invest’ this into the warehouse. It took two months of working every night and every weekend to turn a dusty, old warehouse into a meeting place that could seat 150, with an office, and two small nurseries.

Since the Leutzingers had left, for nearly seven years, attendance had wavered around 80-100 persons. Pastor Michael worked two jobs, as the church continued to struggle and see many people come and go. It was during these seven years the church seemed to draw a number of middle-aged men who wanted control. Each had been in leadership elsewhere, and each had an unhealthy, controlling attitude. There was also an insurgence of those who were deeply entrenched in the ‘hyper-faith’ teaching. The Lord would give an increase in numbers and then there would be a pruning, as a balanced teaching of the Word of God was strictly held to.

In May of 2005 Pastor Michael woke up in the middle of the night and went into his living room to pray. His prayer was for the church and specifically for his role in it. “Father, I’m tired. The church isn’t growing. I believe You’ve called me to this place. I love these people and I love our church, but I feel as though I am not being authentic - I’m not really being who You’ve made me to be. Help me to just be ‘real’ and to bring You the most amount of glory with my life and ministry.” Through tears and sobs Michael felt the Lord whispering that he was indeed a square peg in a round hole, and that he’d been trying to fit into someone else’s idea of ministry, but not into God’s idea of ministry for him. He had indeed been serving Liberty Celebration Center, but it was another man’s vision for what the church should be that Michael was living up to, not God’s vision. Gene Leutzinger had envisioned this church making a mark in this community and he had prayed about a name and mission statement to help accomplish that goal. However, those things reflected Gene and his calling, not Michael and his unique calling. That night was the beginning of something new. Michael went to bed encouraged and determined to redirect the church to better reflect the unique vision that God had given him… or go down trying.

This led to Pastor Michael quitting his secular job and becoming pastor full time. It also led to the changing of the mission statement and eventually the changing of the name, from Liberty Celebration Center, to Desperation Church. Talk about raising eyebrows! It seemed no one understood why this particular name would be chosen. Negative comments from within the church and all over town were heard, but there was a confidence that this was the Lord’s leading. At the time of the name change, there was another major shift, Pastor Michael was taking classes from a Messianic Synagogue and began preaching from a Jewish Roots perspective. The church began to steadily see numerical growth. Soon Desperation Church was averaging 200 people on the weekends. There were a number of trials, but also a number of wonderful things happening. The church was able to afford its very first ‘associate’ pastor, and they hired Dan Bennett – a long time Liberty resident and member of the church. Then, shockingly, Dan suddenly passed away four months after being hired. They then hired Bil Brown, another long time church member and resident of the area. Bil began ministering as the pastor of worship and creativity and the church was led into a new season of excitement and life. Along with a host of volunteers, other associates were added to the mix over the years, including Jon Peteresen and Jeanne Hewitt, as well as a part time counselor, Andrea Simpson.

The church has seen its share of trials: From long-term sicknesses, deaths, breaking away from a denomination, law-suits, and even occasional unpleasant and rather disgusting ‘gifts’ left on the church doors, various groups of people coming to the parking lot and actually casting curses, damage to the property by vandals, and of course numerous hate letters and emails. All of these have been difficult to deal with, but have also been part of the journey the Lord has had Desperation Church on in order for Him to mold and make them what He desires for them to be. The hard times and the trials have only served to encourage the body and be a reminder that one of the church’s jobs is to upset the enemy, so maybe they are succeeding. 

After further growth, a donation of $150,000, and over a year of volunteers within the church working endlessly, Desperation Church now owns a 16,000 square foot facility that they can call home. As of 2012, the church has averaged as many as 750 persons on the weekends. Easter of 2012 saw over 1,100 people in attendance. 2013 has seen the overall numbers decrease a bit, but one thing has remained obvious; The Lord has had His hand on this particular body of believers from day one. Although there are only a handful of original members that are still here from the church’s first years of ministry, the heart for seeing God do incredible things in this area is the same. The church is now known in the city as a safe place where truly desperate people are welcome. Jesus is the center of attraction, as new Christians and life-time disciples, drug addicts and drug dealers, lesbians and gang-members, abuse victims and those involved in satanic covens, and many who’ve simply been wounded by ‘the church’ all come together consistently to love on God and encourage one another in this journey.

Desperation Church has a unique identity in the city of Liberty, Missouri. God has called it to be refreshingly authentic in a world that wants more than anything for someone to step up and be genuine. DC has found that when it is all said and done, people are more drawn to sincerity and passion than the glamour of the show. The key hasn’t been marketing, advertising, or even perfection in the platform ministries. The key has been a true love for Jesus and for others, regardless of their past or their walk of life. ‘Authentic’, ‘genuine’, ‘passionate’, ‘intimate’, ‘weird’, ‘misfits’ and yes, ‘desperate’ are some of the words used to describe what God is in the midst of doing at Desperation Church in Liberty, Missouri.

God is ‘in the midst’ of doing something awesome. This means that He is not finished. Desperation Church has a bright future, because it will continue to love everyone unconditionally, and have Jesus, the Light of the world, as its center attraction.

Difficulty of leaving the ministry

This week I've been preparing to preach my last message at Desperation Church, and perhaps my last message ever... or at the very least, a very, very long time. While reading, I found an article by a man named David Hayward that talked about some of the reasons it is so difficult for a pastor to leave the ministry. I wanted to share his ten reasons, with some comments of my own. The reason I do this, is so that others out there might understand some of the turmoil that is being experienced and hopefully send up a few prayers my family's way. So, here's some of the bummers about walking away from ministry, in no particular order other than how Mr. Hayward put them:

money: Like any other career change, it is very frightening to let your salary go. Even if it might be an insufficient one, it is still difficult to let go of your guaranteed income. Most pastors have no idea how they will provide support for themselves and their families if they leave.

family: Especially if your family is Christian, they had so much pride in the fact that you were “serving the Lord“. Pastors will anticipate a great deal of disappointment from their families when they walk away from this very special calling that so many people took such delight in.

self: When pastors get ordained, they vow that they will never, ever give up. They promise that they will serve the Lord and His body until death. To even think about surrendering this induces an incredible amount of personal shame.

theology: I always took great comfort from scriptures such as, “Run the race. Fight the good fight.” These passages helped me in the worst of times to persevere. To quit the ministry evokes enormous feelings of spiritual failure.

vocation: Most pastors are very specially trained. They have focused their whole lives and educations on theology and ministry to others. It is feared that to walk away from the only job that employs these specific skills is to expose oneself to a completely unmarketable and unemployable position. Usually it requires retraining, which in itself is pretty stinkin' daunting to face.

congregation: To leave the ministry is to walk away from the congregation that the pastor has served. It can feel like abandoning your family. In fact, some might accuse the pastor of being a false shepherd who abandons the sheep. To anticipate this painful separation is excruciating.

enemies: Yeah, believe it or not... I have them. Those who have questioned, ridiculed or even opposed the pastor’s ministry will suddenly have all the ammunition they need to say, “I told you so!” Pastors can hear that leaving the ministry was proof that they shouldn’t have been a pastor to begin with. It feels like throwing in the towel, and there are people who love to cheer that demonstration of surrender. Don't believe me? The very weekend after I announced my resignation there was in attendance a woman who swore she wouldn't attend DC again if I was the pastor. So... why was she there? And was it just me, or was there a sinister smile on her face the entire time I spoke?

meaning: To leave most jobs doesn’t bear the weightiness that leaving the ministry does. Leaving the ministry carries an existential significance that shoots a resigning pastor into the darkest of nights because, as most pastors sense, their job wasn’t just a job, but an extension of their spiritual selves. Ministry is the expression of their convictions, and to leave the job appears to be the desertion of these core convictions.

waste: All pastors are taught and believe that they are planting seeds. They toil year after year with faith that one day their labor will bear fruit. To consider leaving the ministry is to consider relinquishing the garden and to leave it untended or under the care of another who might not share the same commitments. The feelings are all to real, that all that work might be gone to waste without any chance of sharing in the harvest, if it ever comes.

friends: When pastors leave the ministry, they leave friends. For one, they are walking away from their peers in ministry. They are quitting that team. But they are also walking away from people they’ve served and loved through their births, baptisms, marriages, divorces, deaths, tragedies and spiritual pilgrimages. They are saying farewell to people they have loved in very significant ways, intuitively knowing that walking away from the community network will also endanger their chances of that ever happening again.

Resignation Letter to Desperation Church

Dear Desperation Church Family,

“The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord.” Every time I read this passage from Psalm 37:23 I’m reminded that my life is not my own. I belong to God. Kelli belongs to God. We’ve committed both our individual lives and our marriage to His calling and purpose. We’ve resolved to travel together down the path that He has set before us. We’ve entrusted our steps to Him.

It was God’s leading that brought us to Liberty, Missouri in July of 1995. It was His plan for us to assume the lead pastorship when it became available in June of 1997. He gave us a passion for this city and for more than a decade and a half we’ve developed a love for each and every one of you. The blessings of God have been abundant and you have made this journey so wonderful. I’m convinced that our days here have been ordained by the Lord.

That’s one of the reasons this weekend is so incredibly difficult. Through many months of prayer, and a constant stirring in our hearts, we are convinced that God is asking us to travel down a new path, a path that will lead us away from our Desperation Church family, away from Liberty, and away from full time pastoral ministry. This decision is the most difficult one we’ve had to make up to this point in our ministry and in our lives. The difficulty comes not in saying “yes” to the Lord, but in saying “goodbye” to all of you.

In our hearts we never thought this day would come. I guess that’s why God says in Proverbs 16:9. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” We’ve served here with the mindset that we would never leave. However, when we began our life of ministry together in 1990, it was as a team… and due to Kelli’s persistent sickness, we have not been that team for some time. At one time, Kelli’s fingerprint was all over this church; in the children’s ministry, the women’s ministry, and we’d often have people over for dinner or host Bible studies in our home. Her presence on the front row of each and every weekend service (even when there were three) and every extra class I ever taught, was something I took for granted. None of this has been possible for quite a while. I know that my wife’s absence has hurt our church. I also know that it has affected me personally, more than I can express. I believe this is because our ‘team’ hasn’t been able to be together in the ministry. Truthfully, the agony of Kelli’s physical issues, almost seem to pail in comparison to the hurt of not being able to minister side-by-side. We have prayed long and hard about what it is that we should do, and the Lord has been stirring our hearts that our time at Desperation Church has come to an end. With the counsel received in a recent doctor’s visit, we feel we’ve had this stirring confirmed. It simply is not physically viable for Kelli and I to continue as we are currently going.

This weekend, we are officially offering our 60 days notice of resignation as your pastors, with the full intent to provide transitional leadership according to our church’s Bylaws. During this transitional time we will be working alongside the wonderful leadership of Desperation Church to help things remain healthy and strong here in this wonderful place.

We will be putting our home up for sale soon, and after this time of transition Kelli and I will move to the Colorado Springs, Colorado area. We believe the altitude and the climate could benefit Kelli, and we have some family in the area that will allow us to camp out on their floors for a season. Truly, we have no clue what the future holds. We are truly stepping out in faith believing God to be our Guide and to place us in the center of His will and plan for our family.

Please hear these words from the bottom of our hearts. Though our relationship as your pastors will change, our love for all of you will not. That’s why this is so difficult. We’ve become family over the past 18 years and now we’re moving away from being your pastors. As hard as it is to say goodbye, the fact is we’re still family.

We believe that God directs our steps and promises not to leave us nor forsake us. I’m confident that God will be with my family, and I’m confident He will continue leading this church on to something wonderful. God will not take from one at the expense of another. If God is preparing to bless Kelli and I with something new, then He’s also preparing to bless all of you with an awesome new pastor, a pastor that will be able to take you into the future and strategically meet the challenges of reaching the next generation in this community for Jesus Christ. A pastor that will be even better equipped to lead Desperation Church into the center of God’s will. Kelli and I are hurting for sure, but we really believe that your best days are ahead, and though we will not always be your pastors, we pray that you’ll always think of us as your family.

My heart, and truly my life’s message, have always been to keep our eyes on Jesus singularly and to do everything with passion, especially live for Him. This will continue to be my prayer… for myself, my wife and children, and for all of you – our Desperation Church family.

Respectfully submitted with love for each of you,

Michael, Kelli, Conor, Kolten, Caleb, Michaela, and Merci Craft

Still Beautiful To Me

(This blog is for my wife, Kelli Gayle Craft)

Kelli, I know that our wedding anniversary is still a few months away, but sometimes when times are especially tough, I think you need to be reminded of how special you are... and how much I am still in love with you. So, consider this an early anniversary note.

The last twenty-three years have been great. Sure, we’ve had our ups and our downs. We’ve experienced happiness and joy that we could not contain—the birth of Conor, Kolten, Caleb, and Michaela, the adoption of Merci, or just the quiet times we've been able to get away together, for example. We’ve also suffered heartbreak and sadness; I won’t go into any details because there’s no need—we remember. We’ve faced challenges that we never dreamed we’d face. Together, we’ve made life-changing decisions. And every step of the way, you’ve been there to support me and to support our family. Your loyalty and your dedication have been steadfast and complete. Your love and your compassion have been unwavering. You have strengthened me when my faith was weak, and you have allowed me to minister to you when yours was weak.

As a token of appreciation for your love, your loyalty, and your support, I want to publicly tell you: Thank You. Thank you for being who you are, and thank you for sharing these last twenty-three years with me. Thank you for your tireless efforts on my behalf and on the behalf of our children, even when they don’t recognize or don’t seem to want your support (we do have teenagers, after all). Thank you for being a godly woman. Thank you for loving me and, most especially, for loving Jesus. After the last twenty-three years, I can’t wait for the next seventy-three, or however long God blesses me to be with you.

I still love you five, Kelli. Don't ever forget that, and don't, even for a second, think that I'll ever love you less! 

"We're still goin' strong, and I'm so glad that you came along. In every way you're still beautiful to me. There's somethin' I can't deny; You sure still know how to move this guy. Our love still feels good, still runs deep. When you get close babe, I still get weak. Because in my arms is where you belong. Hey babe you're still number one. Oh can't ya see, you're still beautiful to me You'll always be so beautiful to me. Ya babe in every way, you're still beautiful to me." - Bryan Adams

What Is Your Cause?

This is my son, Conor, practicing for a speech he'll be giving at his community college. It's supposed to be a persuasive speech. He wrote it completely and this is his first time saying it out loud. I'm proud of my son and his radical commitment to Jesus Christ. I love that he doesn't care what his classmates may think of him, but is willing to take a stand for the Love of his life like this.

Disjointed Thoughts on Pain

Years ago I read a book written by C.S. Lewis called, "A Grief Observed". The book stands out amongst his other works, in my opinion, as being hard to follow and a bit disjointed. If you are not familiar with C.S. Lewis, then you are really missing out. His book, "Mere Christianity" is one of my all time favorites, as well as his more famous fantasy stories about children who are whisked away to the land of Narnia. 

Wikipedia defines "A Grief Observed" as "...a non-fiction reflection from author and theologian C.S. Lewis on the process of grieving for his wife, who died of cancer after three years of marriage. He keeps a journal throughout the months immediately following and very candidly describes his resulting anger and bewilderment at God, his observations of his impressions of life and his world without her, and his process of moving in and out of stages of grieving and remembering her. He ultimately comes to a revolutionary redefinition of his own characterization of God, and gains the ability to live gratefully for the gift of a true love as long as he was enrolled in that particular education."

Perhaps "A Grief Observed" wasn't my favorite read, because... I couldn't relate to it?

"A Grief Observed" reminds many of another famous work of Lewis',  a book he authored twenty years prior, called simply, "The Problem of Pain". That was a book that sought to provide theory behind the pain in the world. It was a book I purchased and read when first entering ministry, as I am sure many young and inspiring ministers do in order to perhaps be able to muster up a possible answer to the overwhelming amount of hurt that we are inevitably faced with in our work. "The Problem of Pain" is wonderful, because it is the writing of an immense mind on a subject that is extremely difficult to deal with in Christianity. As a matter of fact, most books out today on the subject of  "Why bad things happen to good people", are little more than Lewis' words rehashed. My point... people love what Lewis proposed, his 'theory', in "The Problem of Pain".

Then, twenty years passed. The love of Lewis' life passed away. And all of a sudden, the theories that all made sense and that everyone said a hearty "amen!" to, became super difficult to apply for Lewis. That's why "A Grief Observed" seemed so disjointed to me. Because trying to navigate through intimately painful situations, and fitting your feelings and doubts into the belief system you've always had... is tough.

I think I get "A Grief Observed" better today. 

I always admired that Lewis was so transparent about his personal wrestling with God in the book, but now it means something even more. It is a life-lesson for me. It reminds me that sometimes life is really hard. Sometimes random verses from the Bible don't help. Sometimes God seems silent. Sometimes God answers the prayers of others exactly like they desired Him to, and sometimes He doesn't do that for you. Sometimes there are just a lot of tears and no one is there to physically wipe them away. Sometimes it can seem very lonely. Sometimes the promise of a 'future hope' just doesn't cut it. 

These are all things that Lewis 'vented' about.

Do you know what's so interesting to me? Some of Lewis' greatest fans, after reading this book, thought he had lost his faith, while some of his biggest critics felt it was his most authentic writing. This is where I see the danger one encounters when seeking to be transparent... and genuine. Those who enjoy and buy into the 'theories' and the 'beliefs' often do not want to stare into the face of life's most tragic moments and then reconcile them with what they've believed. Whereas, often it is the critic who is simply looking for authenticity... proof of the reality of God. They find it hard to accept a God who rescues, saves, heals, and fights for the lost and hurting when they see so many still lost and hurting. But you know what they can relate to... and even admire? A person who readily admits that life is painful... and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense sometimes. A person who doesn't wear a false mask of joy when sorrow is gripping the depths of their soul... all behind trite phrases like, "God is good all the time! All the time God is good!"

In Lewis' "A Grief Observed" we read a man who is seriously hurting, and yes, even questioning. It's like you can feel how hard it is for him to balance what he has always known to be true about God, amidst the anguish of losing his wife to cancer. However, after the venting and the long bouts of silence, crying, and depression... we read him gradually reaccepting the theories and truths he had previously written about. He concludes that suffering is ultimately necessary... even in the lives of those who call upon the name of The Lord.

But, make no mistake, there is a huge difference in his writing after the twenty years. He no longer sounds like an 'immense mind' who has all the answers, but rather a broken vessel who has found that trusting God has much more to do with leaning on Him in the valley of the shadow of death, than clinging to the beliefs and theories we have aligned ourselves with.

I'm thankful for God. I'm grateful for the truths of His Word that are buried deep within my soul. But when my wife is in constant agony, and nothing I, or anyone else, seem to do or say is helpful... when every prayer seems to be ignored... when I'm alone in the dark and listening to her cry...

It hurts. 

Jesus wept too.  (John 11:35)

I know. 

Now however, I think He wept, not because He was upset that Laz's sisters didn't have faith, but because when you see someone you love in that much pain...it stinks.

Desperately Seeking Soothin'

We’re talking about church… what it is, what it is not. Last week we began looking at the church as not some ‘place’… or even as an ‘option’. We began to see that ‘church’ is not only a place you attend, but a thing that we ‘are’.  The church… is us. We also saw that being a disciple… a totally committed, radical follower of Jesus… means also being totally and radically committed to the local church.

That commitment starts with simply ‘being here’… but it goes beyond all that, right? It means becoming involved with other God-followers… living life with them… ministering with them, alongside them… even at times, to them.

Listen, maybe that seems a bit overwhelming to you – that idea that you are seen as a minister. Don’t let it be, it’s really just about faithfully serving the people God has placed in your life. The apostle Paul said it like this…

Galations 6:1-2 – HCSB

“Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Ministry can sound intimidating until you understand what it really is all about. Maybe you think you could never get up in front of a group of people and preach a sermon... Maybe you think you could never lead a small group in your home… Maybe you think you could never start a ministry to the homeless in downtown Kansas City like Dave and Bonnie Smith have done with Northland Compassion... But do you know people who struggle with doing the wrong things? Do you know people who are carrying heavy burdens? If so, then your first steps toward ministry are easy: help them.

The truth is; we don’t really like getting involved in other people’s problems. We’ve got problems of our own, right? Why take on other’s junk, when we have a whole heap of junk that is our own that we already have to deal with? But the reason is simple: God calls us to help other people. He created us to function this way. And if that’s true… then your problems aren’t just your problems – ultimately, they belong to the church body that God has placed you in. You are called to encourage, challenge, and help the other Christians in your life, and they are called to do the same for you.

If you wait until all of your own issues are gone and dealt with before you start helping others, guess what? You’ll never help others. Lots of people fall into that false way of thinking… and they totally miss out on something that is really awesome and beautiful; being a part of someone else’s healing.

See, here’s the deal: We are family (…I got all my sisters with me…We are family …get up everybody and sing). The Church consists of those that are the children of God… brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. And a huge part of this whole ‘church’ thing… is to be there for each other…to care for each other.

Let me show you a real example of this in Scripture…

Genesis 4:1-12 – HCSB

Adam was intimate with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain. She said, “I have had a male child with the Lord’s help.” Then she also gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel became a shepherd of flocks, but Cain worked the ground. In the course of time Cain presented some of the land’s produce as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also presented an offering—some of the firstborn of his flock and their fat portions. The Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but He did not have regard for Cain and his offering. Cain was furious, and he looked despondent. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you furious? And why do you look despondent? If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s guardian?” Then He said, “What have you done? Your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground! So now you are cursed, alienated, from the ground that opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood you have shed. If you work the ground, it will never again give you its yield. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

The Bible is really awesome, and many times its message is super easy to understand… and sometimes it can be a bit more difficult. Many times understanding the context and culture of the day helps us in understanding things better. One thing that can be super important when reading the Bible, especially major portions of the Old Testament, is to understand that the exact wording that is used is often critical… and often poetical. Often, a story that was told had a pretty obvious meaning, but many times there was sort of a ‘hidden’ meaning as well… a ‘subtle’ message that would be conveyed in the ‘way’ the story was told.

For instance, often when a word is repeated over and over in a particular story, its to make a point in a subtle way. The first time we read the word "brother" in the bible (ach, in Hebrew) is when Eve gave birth to Abel after first having Cain. It says, "then she also gave birth to his brother Abel..."  (Genesis 4:2) showing that the first person in all of the Bible to be a brother to someone else is Abel, and the first person to have a brother is Cain.

Interestingly, in these first verses of Genesis chapter 4, the word brother is repeated seven times, and the middle time is in God's question, "Where is your brother Abel?" Remember… the writers in these days were very sensitive to word repetition and pattern, and to repeat a word seven times tells us something… it emphasizes its centrality to the story.

The unspoken message is that God's question, "Where is your brother Abel?" is central and very important - Abel is the first brother, and the only brother to Cain, and Cain is responsible for him. Cain's response, the first words after Abel's murder, shows that he has rejected his responsibility to his one and only brother.

Another interesting thing about the Bible, is that it often uses the first of a kind to represent all of that kind. For example, Adam is the first man so he becomes the representative of all mankind. With this in mind then, one of the take-home messages of this famous story is that all who are human are our brothers… and we ARE our brother's guardians. The minute we forget that, sin starts to crouch at our door and we start moving down a path toward evil that may even lead toward hatred… and murder.

What would happen if we really viewed other human beings… as our brothers… as those we were to seriously guard… and care for? Listen, I understand that this totally goes against all that our culture is shoving down our throats right now. Modern culture emphasizes materialism, and as we talked about last week… individuality, to the point of amazing self-centeredness.

“It’s all about ME” is the message of the day… to the point where materialism and consumerism prey on answering every need of ours. If we want something… we can absolutely find a way to have it. We want what we want, and we want it right now! For example, think about the biggest money-making part of the entertainment industry in our time: pornography. What exactly does pornography do? Answer: It feeds on the fleshy desires within us to use others’ bodies for our own pleasure. It’s a completely ‘selfish’ thing that brings much destruction with it. Do you know why? Because, at its very core, it devalues other human beings… it feeds that part of a person that is selfish and inwardly-focused.

Gang, only when we are reminded that other humans are our brothers, and that we must love our brothers as ourselves, will we begin to live as God wants us to. Once again… a huge part of this whole ‘discipleship’ thing… this whole ‘church’ thing… is to be there for each other…and to care for each other.

How is God asking you to stretch out of your own comfort zone… and practically show His love to someone else?

Who has God planted in your world that you can help? Who can you carry?

Galations 6:2 – HCSB

“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Happy Birthday Mom!

Patrons Ain't - [Being the Church part 1]

Most of you know that my wife has been very sick. We continue to wait upon the Lord for wisdom on how to get her better, or simply a touch from Him. Again, I want to thank all of those who are keeping my wife and our family in your prayers. Your love, encouragement, and especially your prayers have been what is helping pull us through this difficult season. Sometimes, when a disciple is going through a difficult time, it is easier to simply back away from the walk of faith, from the call of God… take a ‘time-out’, in a sense. This week I have found myself in God’s Word, and being reminded by it of the importance of not backing down… of the importance of my own calling… to be the pastor of this wonderful body of believers.

I’ve been reading Scriptures such as…

Hebrews 13:17

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account, so that they can do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”

1 Peter 5:2-8

“Shepherd God’s flock among you, not overseeing out of compulsion but freely, according to God’s will; not for the money but eagerly; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. In the same way, you younger men, be subject to the elders. And all of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you. Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.”

Titus 1:5-9

The reason I left you in Crete was to set right what was left undone and, as I directed you, to appoint elders in every town: one who is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of wildness or rebellion. For an overseer, as God’s administrator, must be blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered, not addicted to wine, not a bully, not greedy for money, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled, holding to the faithful message as taught, so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it.

I don’t take lightly the extreme honor that it is to be called ‘pastor’… or the great responsibility that comes with it. Having said that, I so appreciate that this body allows me to also maintain my responsibility to my wife and family. You all have loved us immensely. The truth is, I’ve been serving the Lord, in ministry, since 1989… however, it seems that only in the past year have I truly seen what, I believe, God meant by ‘the Church’.

I think that most people have a false idea of what ‘church’ is really all about. They see it as a building… or a social club. They act as though it is an option. The truth is; it is God’s main strategy for reaching the world! Our theme this year is ‘DISCIPLE’, and I’d suggest that it’s impossible to make disciples aside from the Church of Jesus.

You see, there’s something about our culture that tends to look up to the loners… the Lone Rangers. Most of our heroes are self-sufficient, and they walk alone. Even in Christianity we see this, right? We hear Jesus’ call to take up our cross and follow Him, and we decide to follow Him regardless of what anyone else says or does. That’s awesome… but we have to be careful too. Because, while every individual needs to obey Jesus’ call to follow, we cannot follow Jesus as individuals. The proper context will always be… with others… with His Church.

We read this a few weeks ago, but remember in Matthew 28 when Jesus told us to go and make disciples, and “teach… them to observe everything I have commanded you”? Well, Jesus ‘commanded’ a lot of different things. All throughout the New Testament we’re told to do stuff for “one another”. Love one another, pray for one another, encourage one another, etc. How exactly are we supposed to do that if we’re alone? How do we do that if we’ve got no one to love, pray for, or encourage? It’s sorta impossible to “one another” yourself. Can we honestly really say that we ‘follow Jesus’, if we don’t do the stuff He commanded us?

The Church is Jesus’ idea. He created it. He’s building it (Matthew 16:18). It’s how He is going to accomplish His mission. Church isn’t a building. It isn’t a social club. It really isn’t an option.

Sometimes a person who has the wrong idea about what ‘the Church’ really is, will approach it as though it were simply a place to “go”… like it’s just a building.

When they say, “I’m going to church” what they mean, many times, is that they are going to go and put in some time at a specific building… and sorta do their religious duty for the week. They approach church like they would a restaurant or a store. They’re there to ‘get something out of it’… or to ‘fulfill some type of obligation’. They are basically… patrons.

The dictionary defines ‘Patron’ as, “a person who is a customer, client, or paying guest, especially a regular one, of a store, hotel, or the like.”

Doesn’t that sound like how a lot of folks view their relationship with ‘church’?

I’d suggest that God never called any of us to simply be ‘patrons’. He’s calling us... to be a ‘part’.

In the New Testament, at one point, 3,000 people all of a sudden gave their lives to Christ. It was awesome! These were people who lived all over the region, and were only in town for a particular feast, when God’s Holy Spirit totally blew them away. Can you imagine that many people finding Jesus all at once? They were hungry to learn more and to grow in their faith!

We’re told that they actually started living communally [not that everyone is supposed to live in communes today, but at that time, because they had come from so many different places that were so far away – without cars and trains and planes to travel back and forth to the big city – they would bunk together and share their stuff]. Why?

Because they were hungry to learn and grow in their new-found faith. Check it out…

Acts 2:42 – HCSB

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to the prayers.”

This was Church! This was a group of people who devoted themselves to eating together, praying together, and the ‘apostles teaching’. They weren’t just dabbling in God’s Word… they were devouring it! They wanted more and more! The devoted themselves to ‘the fellowship’. The Greek word for ‘fellowship’ is ‘koinonia’, which means ‘communion,’ or ‘communication’.

In most of today’s Christian culture, a common approach to studying the Bible is to have a quiet time where we isolate ourselves in solitary study. I do this… and I love it, to be honest…but there is more!

In Jesus' community-oriented culture, they had a very different approach. From Jesus' time until today, students in Jewish religious schools have always studied in pairs - discussing, arguing and grappling with the text together. When one doesn't understand, the other explains, and together they think of possible interpretations and other Bible texts that help in understanding.

I found a well-known saying, “If you want to truly study the Scriptures you should get yourself a teacher (rabbi) and get yourself a friend (haver)." (Pirke Avot 1:3). The word haver (hah-VAIR) is loosely translated "friend", but more specifically refers to a partner in studying God's Word. Anyone who has been a part of a good Bible study group knows that the bonds between haverim are often deep and strong. By spending time discussing God's Word and praying for each other's burdens, people quickly become very close. The testimonies of how their lives are impacted by their studying reinforces what they are reading in the Bible, giving real-life examples to inspire one another.

Listen, I’m not saying that we can’t hear God speak to us when we are alone… sitting next to a river, or taking a hike in the mountains, or even watching a great sermon preached on TV. 

However, sometimes we need to realize that God's Spirit often speaks best through other people. God desires that we live in community and love Him together -- not turn inward, ignore others, and only seek Him when we’re alone. 

The rabbis of Jesus' time had a fascinating way of describing this. They said, "When two sit together and exchange words of Torah, then the Divine Presence dwells with them.” (Pirke Avot 2:3) Does that sound familiar to you? It should. It seems that Jesus wanted to reinforce this to His own followers, telling them that for eternity, His Spirit would be with them in their assembling as a body too. He said, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them” (Matt 18:20).

God cares about the way we love each other and the way we pursue His mission. The church is a group of messed up, but totally redeemed people that live and serve together in such a way that their lives and communities are transformed. What matters is our interaction with the people God has placed in our lives. If we are not connected with other Christians, serving and being served, challenging and being challenged, then we are not living as He desires, and the Church is not functioning as He intended.

I truly think the Bible makes it clear that being a disciple and making disciples involves committing our lives to a local church where we are joined together with other believers to grow in the likeness of Jesus and to express the love of Christ to the world around us.

Hebrews 10:24-25

“And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

Gang, I need you. I’m not sure where I’d be right now without my Church family. I’m truly grateful for you… and for the greater body of Christ that we are a part of.

There is so much about the Church… what God desires of it… what it can and should be… that we don’t have time for today. So, we’ll be taking a look at what it means to ‘be the Church’ for the next few weeks… because it’s important. We’ll spend more time thinking about ‘bearing each other’s burdens’ and so much more.

Today, I pray that none of us would settle for being spectators…  or patrons only… but that we’d see that being totally committed followers of Jesus also means being totally committed to the local church. It’s something that is not only good for us and will help us in being radical disciples, but also help us reach this world with the tremendous love of Jesus Christ.